You know that the 24-hour news cycle and cable news networks are struggling to find enough news to fill the hours of the day when we are receiving “cabinet updates” every hour (which is about as exciting as watching the grass grow) and the top story is how Barney, the “First Dog,” bit some reporter. Now that the election is over, and the waiting for Obama to take office has begun…they are clearly starving for the “big story.”
I’m going to resist updating daily about cabinet positions…so much is speculative at this point. Like so many, I am willing to wait and see who is chosen, and THEN find out more about them and their experience and backgrounds.
Instead, I’d like to talk about Proposition 8, which passed on Tuesday allowing for an amendment to the California Constitution defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman, thereby rendering gay marriages illegal. On the same night that Americans elect a black President…some Americans withheld equality from gays. I have spoken to many friends on the subject, and it’s time I put those ideas in print.
Here are the points that I propose:
1) I’m heterosexual. Whether or not gay people marry has ZERO impact on my life. I will still get out of bed in the morning, go to work, and come home just the same as I always have. If gays were able to marry, it would not take one dollar out of my pocket, nor would it cause me distress of any nature. If they’re honest about this…most other heterosexuals will admit the same thing.
2) It does not pose a threat to heterosexual marriage. Heterosexual marriage has bigger problems…an unacceptable number of marriages end in divorce, and most likely should not have happened in the first place. Some surveys show that nearly 30% of women and 65% of men cheat on their spouses. Perhaps heterosexuals need to take a closer look at why THEY get married often too soon, without proper discussion ahead of time, and even to people they know to be abusive/irresponsible/unfaithful. In places where gay marriage has been legalized, we don’t see a sudden increase in divorce, a decrease in marriages, or a boatload of people “turning gay.” These statistics are interesting…apparently, in Massachusetts (where gay marriage is legal) they have the lowest divorce rate and one of the groups with the highest rate – you guessed it, “conservative Christians.” As I put forth in item #1, whether gays are allowed to marry or not seems to have no impact on heterosexuals at all.
3) It’s good for the economy. Most studies show that marriage…is good business. Married people tend to buy more, carry more credit, are more reliable employees, and are much more reliable borrowers. Businesses in California are already dreading the ban…the owner of one flower shop said, “I have done a gay wedding every week,” he said. “And so it’s very disheartening, because other business is very slow.” The mayor of San Francisco said, “It’s a great day for Massachusetts,” because he knows that much of the business lost will migrate east where the marriages are allowed. But don’t just think of “gay-oriented” business…if married, gay couples could take advantage of spousal benefits of ANY industry. Think insurance and healthcare…think real estate and homes…they may be gay, but their money’s still green.
4) Civil marriage is a government-provided license. Say all you want that marriage is defined by the bible…in terms of our secular state, a marriage license (legally and constitutionally) is no different than a parade license, a driver’s license, or a title to property. Can we deny giving a driver’s license to a black man or to a woman because the license was originally intended to allow “white men” to drive? No. The Constitution provides for “equal protection under the law” to all people when it comes to PUBLIC, GOVERNMENT services. Your church can define marriage according to your faith and scripture. The Government CAN NOT define “marriage” according to faith and scripture. The government used to prohibit whites from marrying blacks…now we all agree (well, most of us anyway) that this is wrong. Even atheists can go and obtain a marriage licenses and have a CIVIL ceremony, and they don’t believe in the scriptural definition of marriage AT ALL! Even SATANISTS can go and get a license…but not gays…it’s an obvious violation of our Constitutionally-provided equality.
5) Adding to item #4, the Supreme Court ruled during the Civil Rights struggle that “separate is inherently unequal.” They said that if the government provides a separate school for black children than it does for white children…that is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. ALL people deserve equal protection and access to the same services that government provides. “Civil unions” are JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Now, if states wanted to stop handing our “marriage licenses” and just start issuing “civil union licenses” to all couples, heterosexual or homosexual, then that would be well within the bounds of the Constitution. And then law (and businesses) would have to treat ALL “civil unions” exactly the same. Problem solved. And if people wanted to take their “civil union” license to their church to have a “marriage ceremony” the church could exercise ITS Constitutional rights in only performing the ceremonies for people that coincide with their beliefs. It’s called “separation of church and state,” people.
It’s hard for some to believe that at one point people in this country genuinely believed that women didn’t deserve the same rights as men. It’s hard to believe that at one point, people made all sorts of religious claims and bogus scientific rationale for why blacks didn’t deserve rights either. And one day, America will look back on this chapter for what it is…our latest civil rights struggle. How do you want your children and grandchildren to look at you? Do you want them to think of you as the girl who stood shouting in anger, her face contorted with hate, as black students entered her school…or as the girl that walked into the school with them?